I was blessed with a supportive male advisor who is very well liked. One of the things that people like about him is his ability to ask questions in a very gentle way — seeming as though he is just asking for information, but really providing devastating objections. I tried my best to emulate his style, but found that my points were consistently missed and/or dismissed. I find that I have to be extremely direct and forceful in order to be heard at all. Then, of course, I am cast as “aggressive”; people have even asked me why I am not more like my advisor.
I guess this is an old story, but what’s sad is that it is still happening.