My husband and I are both young philosophers who have been on the job market. This is tough. This year, I received a job offer several months before he did. By the time his came in, I had already signed a contract and we were preparing to move. My job is close to family and friends, in a part of the country we both love. His job is on the other side of the country where we know no one and don’t feel like we fit in.
Even though I had already signed a contract while he was still waiting for the official offer to arrive by mail, and even though we were already half-moved to the location of my job, countless relatives and family friends asked me why I didn’t just quit my position and move with him. Wouldn’t it be nicer, after all, to be together? Not a single person asked him why he didn’t just turn down the offer and continue with our current plan.
Fortunately, not a single philosopher has asked me this. Everyone in the philosophic community understands my decisions. But this experience was a reminder of the different expectations the world at large holds for the careers of men and women.