I was recently at a seminar, and the presenter was having trouble with his powerpoint presentation. The chair of the session was trying to help, but nobody else seemed to be paying attention. At some point the chair asked if anybody had technical competencies with a Mac. I am utterly incompetent with technology (or at least this is my self-conception) but I do own a Mac and had trouble in the past with powerpoint so I said I could try to help. But, since nothing was working out, the chair asked whether anybody had a laptop. I said I had one and we could use mine. Nobody among the attendees was, again, seemingly paying much attention.
Only when I was on my way out to get my laptop I realized that I was the only woman among 13 participants.
I came back with the laptop, helped to set up, fixed a couple of issues that arose during the presentation.
I know most of the participants to that seminar. They are great guys, respectful and collegial. I am sure that each of them, if asked directly to help, would have helped. But I also suspect that few, if any, of them were socialized to be helpers.
I hear the objection that might arise “it’s just a coincidence, it has nothing to do with gender”. Ah, if only I hadn’t seen this kind of things happen over and over, if only I hadn’t heard so many other women noticing these situations, if only we didn’t have all the evidence that women do more service work in Academia…
And yes, they are small things, of course they are. But they add up so fast, and it is unpleasant to feel that you are the one who’s expected to make coffee, clean up, fix practical issues.
Concluding on a positive note: at the Q&A the chair called on me for the first question, even though I was in his peripheral vision and someone else had clearly raised his hand before me. I took that as a thank you note.