I am stuck in an awful place

Posted: January 25, 2016 by jennysaul in Uncategorized

I joined my current department as a graduate student to work with a specific professor.  I was very excited.

About two years in, this same professor screamed at me twice.  The second time, he also threatened me.  Both times, he was quite loud, and I know that a number of people overheard it.

After being threatened, I went to the co-chair.  I was told that he just does that to women, and that I just shouldn’t work with him.  I was also told not to worry about him screaming at me again, since he would know that he had done wrong.  But, of course, he screamed at me twice (but only threatened me once?).  He does not scream at any of the males in the department.

Why was I not told of this when I visited the campus?  The co-chair, among others, knew I planned to work with this guy.  Why did NOT ONE PERSON give me a word of warning?

Why is a guy who regularly screams at female, and only female, students still working here?  He isn’t tenured yet.  They could fire him, right?  It’s an acknowledged pattern, but no one does anything.  Why?

And, really, what am I supposed to do now?  He was the only professor working in my area at this school.  Who do I do my dissertation work through?  And, if I don’t do it through the one scholar in that area at our school, how will that look to search committees?

I want to quit.  But I don’t want to be forced out.  I love philosophy.  I have always loved philosophy.  But I feel like I’m stuck in this awful place, where I will never, ever, ever graduate, but just keep going to school and pretending like something will happen until my funding runs out.

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